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Climate change for preschool kids

Text: Climate change for preschool kids

from Peter Ravenscroft, 14.05.09

Hello
pre-school kids and pollies everywhere. The Easter Bilby has brought you a new toy. It's called a map. Maps are pictures, looking down from the top, as though you are standing on a chair. This one tells you where the climate is changing, that is, where it is getting hotter.

It shows the bits that are getting hotter faster as red colours, and the getting colder bits as blue colours, with all sorts of pretty colours in between. It also shows you a faraway place called Antarctica, with a sharp bit sticking out that is called the Antarctic Peninsula. The map does not show you all the trees in Antarctica because there are none any more. They all got eaten by the ice. It just shows you the wet edges, called the coast, where you could swim, if it was not so cold.

It is so cold down there that not a lot of people go there to rev up their old Hpldens and have street races, and not a lot of people want to build factories there, cause there are not enough hoons to work in them for pocket money.

But, it is getting hotter there faster than anywhere else on the planet.

I know this is difficult, this being very cold but getting hotter faster, but most of you are smart and I am sure you will work it out, The pollies among you may have trouble, but being logically challenged is nothing to be ashamed of, that is why they set up that fine farm for you, somewhere behind Lake George

That peninsula is getting hottest fastest because the carbon dioxide that shoots out of all the Holden mufflers and all the factories in the world goes straight down there to sit on the beach and cool off. The carbon molecules except for those who sniff petrol and go walkabout,  all just hitch-hike there on the backs of the emperor penguins, who do not mind. .Or, maybe Elvis takes them all down there in that big pink Cadillac of his. There are different theories, and the minor details are still being worked out.

Anyway, they definitely all go straight down there. That is what all the scientists that work for the government say and they are very clever people. And that is what the pollies also say, and we must always believe what the pollies say. As you know, kids.

You can make a copy of this pretty map and show it to the kids at school, when you grow up and get there  But don't let the teacher see you doing it, because you may get sent home for being difficult.

But when you are sent home, don't feel down. The Easter Bilby will come and show you an even more exciting.map, but this time, made of old magnets. You can then put that one on top of this one, and then get up on your chair and look down and work out what you see.You can then be very proud of yourself, as soon as you have worked it out (it won't take you long), cause so far, no scientist or polly, not even the Minister for Watering the Climate, can do that. But, one exciting step at  time.

Hooroo kids, and keep catching all the stray carbon molecules in your butterfly nets

Signalman Second-class Jones,
Closeburn Signal Station.

Public domain. Swallow, alter or ignore to suit.

PS: Tip of the day:
Most people can smell a rat if it crawls up their left nostril. But carbon dioxide is a tasteless, odourless colourless gas.

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Derived from

Map from Igloo.atmos at the University of Illinois, Urbana Champaign.

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