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Chook-Induced Anxiety (CIA)

Text: Chook-Induced Anxiety (CIA)

from GB, 23.04.09

Such a tranquil scene. Gorgeous chooks cluck lovingly while recycling scraps into free range eggs. Think again! Those magazines are not telling you the full story.

Yes, chooks are the latest accessory for ethically aware, suburban greenies. They can also reduce the weekly shopping bill. However, beware that getting chickens can result in Chook-Induced Anxiety (CIA). I will now outline the steps that can trigger symptoms of CIA.

Preparation for chook ownership

Magazines say chook ownership is a piece of cake. It is easy if you can afford a prefabricated deluxe chook house, if you have a handy husband or if you're not fussed about chicken comfort and casualties. Note - coop must be ready before chickens arrive.

Chicks

Adorable fluffy chicks arrive and children spend hours squeezing them! They are safe and warm inside a cosy brooder box.

Chooks move to the big house

Handy hubby has finished putting together Fort Knox style coop. Only two months late! Note to chooks - apologies for temporary 'caged chicken' status. Chooks love the big house but they also love dust baths – everyday. A wire floored coop is not conducive to dust bathing and free ranging chickens elevates my heart rate terribly. The anxiety is starting to rise.

Necessary extensions

Wow, this chook thing is expensive. I wonder when those savings begin to kick in? Now dear, do you think you could build a fence around the coop so my lovelies can dust bath? What do you think about a sunshade? Can we fence the whole backyard? Yes dear.

Rooster removal

Now for the big ticket item – rooster removal. I don't recall reading in glossy magazines about the top 5 ways to remove roosters. What do you do when the crowing begins and neighbours start complaining? Quick – find someone who wants your roosters. Easier said than done as my chooks are 'not for the pot'. This is a job for chook.com where you have soft hearted people called 'fluffy feather' and 'featherdusters' just waiting to rescue your roosters.

'LittleRedHenHouse' finally gets a response and roosters are saved. At last a sleep in.

Egg laying

But where are the eggs? Oh well, at least my darlings are safe and sound. I'm sure the egg laying will begin soon. Then I can start worrying about broody hens.
I'm wondering if this CIA is worth it?

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  • Anonymous's picture

    26.10.09 — Claudia Taranto

    Great description of the

    Great description of the hassles of trying to live closer to the earth when we're so keyed into a high tech lifestyle. You sure put me off the romance of keeping chickens like my grandma did. Thanks for adding it to the Live Local group

  • Anonymous's picture

    26.10.09 — GB

    I hope I don't put everyone

    I hope I don't put everyone off chickens - my levels of CIA have reduced now and we are all living happily ever after. Plus lots of organic, free-range eggs.

  • Anonymous's picture

    21.10.09 — pipshea

    Such an enjoyable read as I

    Such an enjoyable read as I am a chook run away from getting a couple of bantams for my small, urban yard. I can already feel my CIA levels rising :)
    Pip, Pool Team

  • Anonymous's picture

    21.10.09 — GB

    Thanks Pip - chickens are

    Thanks Pip - chickens are the best - mine free-range all day now (very spoilt) - in the safely fenced backyard. Tightly locked in at night. I have posted photos of the best looking hens in the POOL (I'm writing a children's book about Pompadour - she's a rock chick - celebratory from 'Aussie's Rock Chick')

  • Anonymous's picture

    21.10.09 — GB

    I thought I would also throw

    I thought I would also throw this in the Live Local group - I will write an update - a lot has happened since those days. We get about 3 eggs a day (40gms) from the 5 hens. That adds up to a lot of eggs which we share with our neighbours regularly. Cheers Gabrielle

  • Anonymous's picture

    28.10.09 — Kate Gauld

    Hi GB, what a great piece!

    Hi GB, what a great piece! An update would be wonderful. Glad to hear the eggs are flowing in. Is this the first time you've eaten eggs from your own chooks? Do they taste any different?
    I think you've captured that little chasm between 'magazine life' and 'real life' just wonderfully.
    I look forward to those updates!
    -Kate

  • Anonymous's picture

    29.10.09 — GB

    Thanks Kate for your

    Thanks Kate for your comments. I won't answer you here (it's a funny story) but I'll put it in the update.Cheers Gabrielle

  • Anonymous's picture

    16.07.09 — GB

    Chook-Induced Anxiety was

    Chook-Induced Anxiety was recorded for Country Viewpoint (Bush Telegraph) on ABC Radio National on the 7th July 2009 (podcast is on the ABC website) - please note, my voice does not really sound like that (relatives agree) - must have been the nerves or the recording. Thanks to the ABC for selecting my story - it was a fun experience having it recorded. Cheer Gabrielle Bryden

  • Anonymous's picture

    03.06.09 — GB

    I was never one for rational

    I was never one for rational thought - I'll eat the babies if someone else raises them. I can hear you say 'Oh, for heaven's sake'!

    GB

  • Anonymous's picture

    02.06.09 — Kerry Ashwin

    and the little chicken said

    and the little chicken said "the Dow Jones is falling, the Dow Jones is falling"

    so now it's time to eat the babies.

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