- Title: Track 1
- Album: Unknown Album (20/02/2009 11:56:16 AM)
- Track: 1
- Genre: Other
- Length: 4:03 minutes (9.29 MB)
- Format: Stereo 44kHz 320Kbps (CBR)
- Stats: , 0 downloads, 27 plays
Audio: breathe
A spoken word track about an experience of life in the city
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2 comments
04.06.09 — Gretchen Miller
PS James
because of some funny business with the way pieces are displayed in the tag collection of city nights - your piece is a bit buried.
it would be a great idea to upload an image with it to draw the eye for casual visitors ... And it'd be nice to read a bit more about you in your profile... unless you prefer being anonymous which is of course also fine
cheers
Gretchen
04.06.09 — Gretchen Miller
Really great build up in this piece - I really like the way you take your time with this and don't rush to the words - you just breathe us in...
I also like the way you read - terrific accent! and there are lots of moments where you allow your own intonation to come through and show us your feelings about words and moments. At times as if often the danger I think with performance poetry, you get a little sing song and intense as you load the words with meaning. But you don't need to. Let the words speak for themselves and think about the natural musicality of the voice and spoken intonation - it's all just naturally there in the way we speak. Your voice and tonality is really unique and strong so I reckon explore and play with that.
The heart beat and guitar work well together. Lots of space in those sounds - lots of room for the voice and the words there.
The story takes a right turn with the image of 'mum' and 'dad'... which is really arresting. A strong way to end. We don't often as adults, speak of those relationships and their impact on us - at least not artistically. Interesting huh? I wonder why. So it's thought provoking to hear it here.
The production is very tight in this piece. The thing I'd question is the synthesiser sounds - the strings, the low hum - that sound is so familiar to us and is used to give a feeling of 'meaning' and 'depth' to the content. I'd prefer to hear real sounds from the city environment - you can get a hum from traffic, from certain reverberant spaces... I also think the guitar is a bit repetitive... but this is nit picking - I'm really just mulling over possibilities because it's a piece that makes you think...
thanks for uploading,
cheers
Gretchen
citynights producer